I wish I could be funny. I always wanted to be funny. From the very early days of noticing social positioning in elementary school – funny was something worth being. No one really hates funny people. No one bugs them. And they always seem to take life so smoothly. Laughing it over.

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I love to laugh. There’s nothing I like more than comedies – on theater, movies, TV and books. Humor is grand. Humor is a fantastic cure for bad moods, pains, and just plain sadness.

As I grew up I developed some sense of humor. A better tendency to laugh and join in the laughs. I still wish I could really be funny. When I make people laugh it feels like a little miracle. I admire comedy writers. I think I’m too serious most of the time.

For the past couple of weeks I’ve been thinking about humor and my dad. He just passed away and I’m filled with the deepest sadness I have ever experienced. I didn’t know sadness could get so deep. And comedies don’t make me laugh now.

But humor played a great part in my dad’s personality. He had a special sense of humor. The intelligent type. Cynical at times. But he always knew how to make us smile. Give it time, I say to myself, you’ll soon hear him make a few jokes about this situation. Humor got him through a tough childhood and not an easy life. Humor is the survival kit.

Love you, Dad. I miss you.